Monday, August 3, 2009

Aw, Flashbacks Are Fun

With 12 days and 45 minutes left at my job I figured I should spend my time wisely. Of course I downloaded iTunes and made playlists. Hey. I'm a hard worker. Currently I am literally rocking out 9th grade-style to *NSYNC. That's right. Their music does it for me.

Truth: I was obsessed with *NSYNC from 7th grade-present. Not even kidding, if they ever revived and did a charity concert or a pity concert somewhere, you bet I'd take a plane, train or automobile to lose my voice screaming to those matching velcro outfits and sick dance moves. In no way am I ashamed of this. There you have it. I was THAT girl in junior high and high school. I boast seeing them four times. My room? Completely covered in pictures. I used up all of the family computer color ink printing out pictures. I entered the "*NSYNC *N Your School" contest, where I made all of my closest friends buy Herbal Essence Shampoo and other such products so we'd have the minimum proofs of purchase. Then we made a commercial which was also required to enter the contest. I sang a song in it. I was convinced I would win, they would come to my catholic high school to perform, JC would see me and instantly fall in love with me, and I would quit school, tour with them, we would get married on stage at a concert, and live a life of bliss. I was 14. On vacation one year I had to get the No Strings Attached album when it came out so my parents drove to Wal-Mart in the wee hours of the morning and listened to it with me in the car before we got breakfast. Another vacation I had to see the HBO concert but we didn't have HBO in our rooms, so they arranged for me to watch in one of the hotel area's conference rooms. I love my parents. I mean seriously. If permitting your daughter to openly be obsessed with men older than her isn't love I don't know what is. Oh and I also wrote to J.C. when I was in 8th grade telling him that I think we would be so great together and that I hope he'll wait for me until I'm 18 (and, uh, he'd be like 27).

I swear I have a brain.

It pains me to write this. But there you have it.

So all of these memories kept flooding back, I smiled, I quivered at my silliness, and then I was brought back to reality as I listened to the lyrics of the No Strings Attached album. Um...yeah.
Let's break it down.

1) Bye Bye Bye - the dance move has lasting power, but really?
"I'm giving up I know for sure
I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more
(Bye Bye)
I'm checkin' out
I'm signin' off
Don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough
Don't wanna be your fool
In this game for two
So I'm leavin' you behind
Bye, bye, bye..."
Toodles! PEACE.

2) It's Gonna Be Me
"Every little thing I do (ohh...)
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again (don't wanna lose it)
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally (baby when you finally)
Get to love somebody
Guess what (guess what)
It's Gonna Be Me."
I know that crooning would win me over. Especially if someone echoed everything my suitor said.

3) Space Cowboy (Yippe-Yi-Ya)
Um, do I really need to post lyrics? Yes, actually I think I do.
"See I've got my eyes on the skies
The heavenly bodies up high
And if you're in the mood to take a ride
Then strap on a suit and get inside
If you wanna fly, come and take a ride
Take a space ride with the cowboy, baby"
I used to know the whole rap portion by Left Eye, as well.

4) Just Got Paid
First of all, it totally sounds like "Just Got Laid" throughout the song. I ignored this when I was younger, but you can't help but notice:
"Check the mirror, lookin' fly
Round up the posse, jump in my ride
Radio rockin', hottest jam
Feel the rhythm, pump up the sound
Feelin' so good
Don't you know, I'm just groovin' to the beat
Groovin', yeah, groovin', oh, oh, oh, ohhhh
Just got paid, Friday night
Party hoppin', feelin right
Booties shakin', all around
Pump that jam, while I'm gettin' down"
Ohhhhh yeah. They look fly alright.

5) It Makes Me Ill - my favorite song of the album
"Call me a hater, if you want to
But I only hate on him 'cause I want you
You can say I'm trippin' if you feel like
But you without me ain't right (ain't right)
You can say I'm crazy, if you want to
That's true-- I'm crazy 'bout you
You could say I'm breakin' down inside (inside)'
Cause I can't see you with another guy
It makes me ill
To see you give
Love and attention at his will
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel
To see you with him"
It makes you ill. We get it.

6) This I Promise You
Good ballad, just cheesy as all hell
"And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you"
How sweet. This song makes me ill, actually.

7) No Strings Attached - very catchy, but really? Really.
"Take it from me
It's a lesson to be learned
Even the good guys get burned
Take it from me
See I would give you love
The kind of love that you've only dreamed of
Baby you're not the only one
You don't have to be afraid to fall in love
And I know that you've hurt in the past
But if you want it, here's my heart
No strings attached"
Yeah, I'll take it from you, Justin.

8) Digital Getdown - this album came out in 2000, so I get the whole "let's chat about what's new and happening"...but when your audience is mainly tweens and young teens? My guess is you shouldn't promote talking to creeps online. "Getdown" isn't a word, either.
"Baby baby we can do all that we want
We're gettin nasty nasty, we're getting freaky deaky
Baby baby we can do more than just talk
Cause I can hear ya hear ya, and I can see ya see ya
Baby baby we can do all that we want
We're getting nasty nasty, we're getting freaky deaky..
Digital digital get down just you and me
(You may be) Twenty thousand miles away but I can see ya
And baby baby you can see me
Digital digital get down just what we need
We can get together naturally
(We can) We can get together on the digital screen"
I believe this prompted parental controls.

9) Bringin' Da Noise - not even posting lyrics. It's just dumb. Catchy, but dumb.

10) That's When I'll Stop Loving You - meh. Cheese cheese cheese. Sweet, but it's highly unlikely that a guy will never make her cry, like the lyrics suggest. Thanks for giving women everywhere expectations of men. Thanks a lot.

11) I'll Be Good For You - again, nice sentiment, but not a good song. There was a reason they never sang this in concert. It was clearly a filler song for the album.

12) I Thought She Knew - hands down, amazing. Yes. I love this song. It's so depressing and real and all about unrequitted love. Thank you for all of your a cappella glory.

So that's my way-too-long-wow-Mare-you-are-pathetic assessment of only one of my favorite boy band's albums. I probably won't do it again because the realization is depressing, but it's fun to remember how silly I was/am for them and how I belt the lyrics without even thinking. At work. Maybe I should skip "Digital Getdown" next time I play the album unless I want to get fired before my 12 working days are through.

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