Monday, October 20, 2014


Well hey there!
I sure do have a story for you today.
But first, some background.

I have kept my eye on Groupons lately because I have been really craving a massage. 
Unfortunately massages can be pretty pricey and I never indulge.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I saw a Groupon offer in my neighborhood for a 30-minute reflexology massage for $18! Plus, Groupon had 15% off throughout the site today (and tomorrow!), so I figured I'd give it a shot. Reflexology is new to me, but for $15 I could give it a go.

I made an appointment for today at 5:30 after work and was very excited all day.
Surely relief was on the way! 

Well, this place was...interesting.

I have had maybe three massages in my day. Each were lovely and were in my own room with glorious and peaceful music playing perfectly in the air.

There were no private rooms.
There were no screens or drapes.

At least the lights were dim.

Because I was NEXT TO strangers the whole time!
Am I getting a pedicure or am I getting a massage?

Also, of course I clunk and stomp right into the room without knowing it was a public space, and my bags and bangles clink and clank all the way to my public table for my public massage.

"Well, if these people can do it, I sure can," I huffed. "At least I didn't pay full price."
Besides, it's not a real massage - I wasn't getting undressed in any way.
However, my skinny jeans were a little difficult to hike up for the foot massage part.
Clearly I did not consider my outfit when I made my appointment for this public massage.

Finally I sit down and get comfy. Publicly.

"This is quite comfortable! I think I might enjoy this!"

(Slap slap slap slap) goes the patron to my right.

"Why on earth is the lady smacking his arm?" 
Luckily mine was head and neck for 10 minutes and feet for 20. No smacks for me! Yippee!

For the rest of this post there are no quotes, but this is what went through my head:

OK, this guy is touching my head. And my neck. And now he's pulling and turning my head and OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS! My neck shouldn't twist like that, sir. 

Soon after, the guy gets started on my feet. They had been soaking during his attack on my face.
OK this is going well.
Good thing this small towel covers my eyes and most of my face so I can keep my eyes closed without feeling rude.

OK my feet are feeling great!
Reflexology is fun!

Don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh

Then I finally remember: every pedicure brings out the giggles.
I'm rather ticklish on the toes.
Why didn't I think of that?!?!

So now I'm all tense because I don't want to giggle and I'm moving the towel over more of my face so no one can see my smile...although, it really was dark in there. Thank goodness.

Slap slap slap slap slap

Ugh, not again. This is so strange! Stop smacking that girl's arms! How can she like that? How am I supposed to relax when all I can think about is trying to not hear other people relaxing while I'm trying to not giggle? 

Sigh, I'm exhausted. And relieved.
The 30 minutes have expired.
...which also means that I no longer have to listen to the music of rushing water while I need to go to the restroom...

My feet feel glorious, though!
Unlike pedicures, however, I didn't have pretty toes peeping up at me in a pretty color.
Instead, I raced to put on my boots and clomped right out of that public massage room full of towel-covered, fully dressed (I think? I hope?) people.

I figured I better give a tip. This sign beamed up at me while the guy gave me some water:

And yes, I took a picture before handing him a $5. I thought I was generous.

Needless to say, Reflexology is not for me.

Have a good one!


Brita Long said...

OMG, that's hilarious! I'm interested in trying reflexology, but I'm glad I read this first. Now I know to only try it out at a spa. In my hometown, the spa where I had my brows waxed regularly (and my first facial) also offered reflexology, so I imagine it would be similar to a massage.

Olivia said...

hahaha! I had one of the weirdest massages of my life through a groupon deal. On a similar note, I love the massage people at the mall. The one where you sit in the middle of the mall with your face in that oval and they go to town on your knots. Some of my best massages ever have been in the mall haha!

Anonymous said...

I don't think I could handle that. I had a very strange massage experience in Playa Del Carmean with a friend. We laugh about it now, but lets just say they wanted us to both strip down in front of one another and then get on the table, while they were in the room. No tip was given. LOL.